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When Hollywood Ruled The Skies - Volumes 1 through 4 by Bruce Oriss


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 Post subject: Three Wishes
PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 10:21 am 
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This goes to prove you have to be really careful what you wish for...

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a french in a trap.
The french said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you three wishes."

The woman freed the french, and the french said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.

The french warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make
your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to."

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM, she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The french said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world
and he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his
is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The french then inquired about her third wish, and she answered,
"I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop
here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.





















The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife

Moral of the story: Women are not as smart as they think they are.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women just never listen!!!

Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies
who have a good sense of humor.

Mudge the humorist :lol: :lol:

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Last edited by Mudge on Tue Jan 30, 2007 3:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 2:14 pm 
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Location: Akron, Ohio
:lol: :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:47 am 
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Location: Portland, OR, or thereabouts.
I got caught! :lol: Apparently I don't listen too well. Not sure why I felt the need to fess up to this, other than to pass along my thanks to Mudge the humorist. That's a good one! :)

Although I realize the women are few and far between on here, I thought this one was worthy of posting, it's one of my favorites that I've gotten in an e-mail forward.

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the pincher cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him, "Midnight". He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one!!! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh S***!", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

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Last edited by Stephanie on Wed Jan 31, 2007 2:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 1:52 pm 
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Stephanie...Now THAT'S funnier than my joke. :supz:

Mudge the roflmao :lol:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 2:08 pm 
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Queen Of The World
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Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2006 6:45 pm
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Location: Portland, OR, or thereabouts.
Mudge wrote:
Stephanie...Now THAT'S funnier than my joke. :supz:

Mudge the roflmao :lol:


Yeah, that's one of my favorites - It just cracks me up... maybe because I can completely visualize myself doing that. :D :lol:

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"It is the greatest shot of adrenaline to be doing what you have wanted to do so badly. You almost feel like you could fly without the plane." Charles Lindbergh


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