Since people seem to think that the off-topic section is for political discussion, something that is frowned upon, I have temporarily closed the section. ANY political discussions in any other forum will be deleted and the user suspended. I have had it with the politically motivated comments.
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Quoteable Quotes

Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:20 am

Courtesy of the Simpsons

Oh, “meltdown”. It’s one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an “unrequested fission surplus”.
-Mr. Burns
Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals... Except the weasel.
-Homer Simpson
I can’t take his money. I can’t print my own money. I have to work for money. Why don’t I just lie down and DIE?
-Homer Simpson
To alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
-Homer Simpson
Darn it, Smithers, this isn’t rocket science; it’s brain surgery!
-Mr. Burns
Marge, you’re my wife, I love you very much, but you’re living in a world of make-believe! With flowers and bells and leprechauns and magic frogs with funny little hats.
-Homer Simpson
Now, look, boy. If your da goes ga-ga, you just use that…shin of yours to call me, and I’ll come a-runnin’. But don’t be readin’ my mind between 4 and 5. That’s Willie’s time!
-Groundskeeper Willie

Tue Jan 23, 2007 1:01 pm

Dialog courtesy of Doctor Who. Neither short nor sweet (for the most part anyway), but fav's from one of my fav shows:

[Mickey has reactivated K9]
Mickey Smith: Okay, no time to explain, we need to get inside the school. Do you have, like, I don't know, a lock picking device?
K9: We are in a car.
Mickey Smith: Maybe a drill attachment?
K9: We are in a car.
Mickey Smith: Fat lot of good you are
K9: We are in a car.
Mickey Smith: Wait a second. We're in a car.
[shouts]
Mickey Smith: Get back!
Mickey Smith: [crashes car through main doors]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rose Tyler: [Rose is being threatened by the Daleks to place her hand on the Genesis Ark, thus awakening it] I can't let 'em.
Dalek Leader: Place your hand upon the casket!
Rose Tyler: [impatient] All right! You're gonna kill us anyway, so what the hell.
[pause]
Rose Tyler: If you... survived the Time War, don't you want to know what happened...?
Dalek Leader: Place your hand...
Rose Tyler: [interrupting] ... What happened to the Emperor?
Dalek Leader: [shocked] ... The Emperor survived?
Rose Tyler: [staring into the Dalek's eyestalk] Well, until he met ME. Because if these are gonna be my last words, then you're gonna listen. I met the Emperor, and I took the Time Vortex and poured it into his head, and turned him into dust. D'you get that? The God of all Daleks, and I destroyed him!
[triumphant]
Rose Tyler: HA!
Dalek Leader: [furious] You will be EXTERMINATED!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah Jane Smith: [Sarah Jane and Rose are once again squabbling over the Doctor] I had NO trouble with space-stuff. I've seen things you wouldn't believe!
Rose Tyler: Try me!
Sarah Jane Smith: Mummies!
Rose Tyler: I've met ghosts.
Sarah Jane Smith: Robots, lots of robots!
Rose Tyler: Slitheen, IN Downing Street!
Sarah Jane Smith: Daleks!
Rose Tyler: Met the Emperor.
Sarah Jane Smith: Anti Matter Monsters!
Rose Tyler: Gas Mask Zombies!
Sarah Jane Smith: Real life Dinosaurs!
Rose Tyler: Real life Werewolf!
Sarah Jane Smith: THE LOCH NESS MONSTER!
Rose Tyler: Seriously?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Doctor: Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink.
Mickey Smith: What's that?
The Doctor: No idea, I just made it up. Didn't want to say "Magic Door"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mickey Smith: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
The Doctor: Mickey, what's Pre-Revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rose Tyler: [about Madame De Pompadour] The Queen must've loved her.
The Doctor: Oh, she did. They got on very well.
Mickey Smith: The King's wife and the King's girlfriend?
The Doctor: France. It's a different planet.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Doctor: [having just unmasked a Clockwork Droid] Oh, you are BEAUTIFUL! No, really! You are! You're GORGEOUS! Look at that! Space-age clockwork - I LOVE it! I've got chills! Seriously, I mean this from the heart - and, by the way, count those - it would be a CRIME, it would be an act of VANDALISM to disassemble you!
[holds up sonic screwdriver]
The Doctor: But that won't stop me!

Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:09 pm

Ralph: That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun.
Bart: Right, the leprechaun.
Ralph: He told me to burn things.

Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:39 pm

SNL: Just enjoy the Ozzy and keep your mouth shut!

SG1: Hammond - col Oneill what the hell do you think you are doing!?
Oneill - In the middle of my back swing!?

Mythbusters: I reject your reality and substitute my own.

Die Hard: Yippee-ki-yay, motherf*****!

Vegas Vacation: Hoover Dam Guide: I am your dam guide, Arnie, please don't wander off the dam tour and please take all the dam pictures you want. Now are there any dam questions?
Cousin Eddie: Yeah, where can I get some dam bait?

Tue Jan 23, 2007 7:12 pm

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joanna: So, where do you work, Peter?
Peter Gibbons: Initech.
Joanna: In... yeah, what do you do there?
Peter Gibbons: I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch.
Joanna: What's that?
Peter Gibbons: Well see, they wrote all this bank software, and, uh, to save space, they used two digits for the date instead of four. So, like, 98 instead of 1998? Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, uh... it doesn't really matter. I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.
Joanna: You're just not gonna go?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Joanna: Won't you get fired?
Peter Gibbons: I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go.
Joanna: So you're gonna quit?
Peter Gibbons: Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going.
Joanna: When did you decide all that?
Peter Gibbons: About an hour ago.
Joanna: Oh, really? About an hour ago... so you're gonna get another job?
Peter Gibbons: I don't think I'd like another job.
Joanna: Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and...
Peter Gibbons: You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either.

Tue Jan 23, 2007 7:33 pm

Flying a plane is a lot like riding a bike, only it is alot harder to put baseball cards between the spokes.

We need to get these people to a hospital
A hospital? What is it?
It is a big building with sick people, but that's not important right now.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Tue Jan 23, 2007 8:50 pm

mustangdriver wrote:Flying a plane is a lot like riding a bike, only it is alot harder to put baseball cards between the spokes.

We need to get these people to a hospital
A hospital? What is it?
It is a big building with sick people, but that's not important right now.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.


I LOVE Airplane:

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

????

Tue Jan 23, 2007 8:53 pm

"Pineapple-pickle-blowfish I'm coming in!"
LT Topper Harley

Wed Jan 24, 2007 8:15 am

beachgirl wrote:--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joanna: So, where do you work, Peter?
Peter Gibbons: Initech.
Joanna: In... yeah, what do you do there?
Peter Gibbons: I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch.
Joanna: What's that?
Peter Gibbons: Well see, they wrote all this bank software, and, uh, to save space, they used two digits for the date instead of four. So, like, 98 instead of 1998? Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, uh... it doesn't really matter. I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.
Joanna: You're just not gonna go?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Joanna: Won't you get fired?
Peter Gibbons: I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go.
Joanna: So you're gonna quit?
Peter Gibbons: Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going.
Joanna: When did you decide all that?
Peter Gibbons: About an hour ago.
Joanna: Oh, really? About an hour ago... so you're gonna get another job?
Peter Gibbons: I don't think I'd like another job.
Joanna: Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and...
Peter Gibbons: You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either.


Oh my, that made in almost pee my pants! If I replaced Peter with another name it would be a co-worker of mine, she's playing sick (very long history of this) and has only showed up to work 8 hours in the last 3 weeks, mind you those eight hours were divided over 2 days a week apart. And the company could careless!

Tim

Wed Jan 24, 2007 8:27 am

Yeah, there's a whole group here at work that can recite the whole movie practically verbatim!!!! It's always good for a laugh -- Kind of gives us hope! :D

Wed Jan 24, 2007 9:03 am

I've been watching all the Star Wars episodes lately and I like the quotes of Yoda. ;)

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120915/quotes

Yoda: How feel you?
Anakin: Cold, sir.
Yoda: Afraid are you?
Anakin: No, sir.
Yoda: See through you we can.
Mace Windu: Be mindful of your feelings.
Ki-Adi-Mundi: Your thoughts dwell on your mother.
Anakin: I miss her.
Yoda: Afraid to lose her I think, hmm?
Anakin: What has that got to do with anything?
Yoda: Everything! Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0121766/quotes

Yoda: Premonitions, premonitions. These visions you have...
Anakin Skywalker: They are of pain, suffering. Death.
Yoda: Yourself you speak of, or someone you know?
Anakin Skywalker: Someone.
Yoda: Close to you?
Anakin Skywalker: Yes.
Yoda: Careful you must be when sensing the future Anakin. The fear of loss is a path to the dark side.
Anakin Skywalker: I won't let these visions come true, Master Yoda.
Yoda: Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is.
Anakin Skywalker: What must I do, Master Yoda?
Yoda: Train yourself to let go... of everything you fear to lose.

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080684/quotes

Yoda: I am wondering, why are you here?
Luke: I'm looking for someone.
Yoda: Looking? Found someone, you have, I would say, hmmm?
Luke: Right...
Yoda: Help you I can. Yes, mmmm.
Luke: I don't think so. I'm looking for a great warrior.
Yoda: Ohhh. Great warrior.
[laughs and shakes his head]
Yoda: Wars not make one great

Yoda: Yes, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan's apprentice.
Luke: Vader... Is the dark side stronger?
Yoda: No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.
Luke: But how am I to know the good side from the bad?
Yoda: You will know... when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.

Thu Jan 25, 2007 1:51 am

Nudge Nudge, know what I mean, know what I mean! from the "Monty Python Live
at City Center" album

Man: 'Evening, squire!
Squire: (stiffly) Good evening.
Man: Is, uh,...Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean,
nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?
Squire: I, uh, I beg your pardon?
M: Your, uh, your wife, does she go, eh, does she go, eh?
S: (flustered) Well, she sometimes "goes", yes.
M: Aaaaaaaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more,
knowwhatahmean, nudge nudge?
S: (confused) I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.
M: Follow me. Follow me. That's good, that's good! A nod's as good as a
wink to a blind bat!
S: Are you, uh,...are you selling something?
M: SELLING! Very good, very good! Ay? Ay? Ay?
(pause)
M: Oooh! Ya wicked Ay! Wicked Ay! Oooh hooh! Say No MORE!
S: Well, I, uh....
M: Is, your uh, is your wife a sport, ay?
S: Um, she likes sport, yes!
M: I bet she does, I bet she does!
S: As a matter of fact she's very fond of cricket.
M: 'Oo isn't? Likes games, eh? Knew she would. Likes games, eh? She's been
around a bit, been around?
S: She has traveled, yes. She's from Scarsdale.
(pause)
M: SAY NO MORE!!
M: Scarsdale, saynomore, saynomore, saynomore, squire!
S: I wasn't going to!
M: Oh! Well, never mind. Dib dib?
Is your uh, is your wife interested in....photography, ay?
"Photographs, ay", he asked him knowlingly?
S: Photography?
M: Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more?
S: Holiday snaps, eh?
M: They could be, they could be taken on holiday. Candid, you know,
CANDID photography?
S: No, no I'm afraid we don't have a camera.
M: Oh. (leeringly) Still, mooooooh, ay? Mwoohohohohoo, ay? Hohohohohoho, ay?
S: Look... are you insinuating something?
M: Oh, no, no, no...yes.
S: Well?
M: Well, you're a man of the world, squire.
S: Yes...
M: I mean, you've been around a bit, you know, like, you've, uh....
You've "done it"....
S: What do you mean?
M: Well, I mean like,....you've SLEPT, with a lady....
S: Yes....
M: What's it like?

Thu Jan 25, 2007 2:54 am

Second brother: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu...

Maynard: Skip ahead a bit, Brother.

Second brother: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'

Maynard: Amen.

Knights: Amen.

Thu Jan 25, 2007 8:44 am

When cna we get this plane on the ground?
I can't tell.
You can tell me, I am a doctor.
I am not sure
Well, can't you take a guess?
Not for another hour.
You can't take a guess for another hour?

I love Airplane. It is a classic here as well. Whenever there is something wrong with one of the helicopters, one of the pilots always says, "She is sluggish like a wet sponge."

Thu Jan 25, 2007 9:26 am

"I wanna be just like the guy who built the rocket and went to the moon all on his own. What was his name?.......Apollo Creed?"
-Homer Simpson


Homer Simpson and Little Stewy Griffin (from Family Guy) are my favorite actors.
Gary
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