I have been asked offline to have another conversation with my cat about some of the questions raised in this thread. My cat was demon-free for a few days last week, when his possessor went up north with some buddies to possess some elves and try to prevent Christmas, but they were foiled by the combined forces of Mickey Mouse, Elmo, Winnie the Pooh, Phineas and Ferb, Alvin and at least one other chipmunk, each of whom unfairly took sole credit for the victory in his own TV special. Anyway, now the demon is back in my cat, with a slight sniffle but available to answer questions. I taped the conversation and below is the transcript.
Q: So you've read this reincarnation thread on Wix?
A: Yeah. For what it's worth, I think Corsairs are ugly.
Q: Wow, you really are evil. What do you think of this notion of Devilbrad's that someone could be possessed by a good equivalent of a demon?
A: Well, of course goody-goody, pansy versions of us do exist. They're usually called "angels." And they could possess somebody, but see, you've got to understand, possessing a living person is really a kind of rape. That's not something angels are into. Their Boss doesn't like them doing it either. Even Michael Landon learned that people really don't want to be "Touched by an Angel" in
that way. Well, he sort of learned it.
Q: So that's why we don't hear much about angelic possession?
A: Exactly. The last known case was in 1945, in the final days of the Third Reich. An angel possessed Adolf Hitler briefly. He was seen giving money, candy and flowers to poor gypsy children, laughing angelically. After a while the angel got out of there, and very soon, Hitler committed suicide. So did the angel.
Q: Back to the main topic, people questioned when you said that reincarnation is a crock. Could you expand on it?
A: It just isn't how it's done. Human spirits live in meat, the meat dies, then they're free. They don't need meat any more. Some of them hang around, but not in that way.
Q: In what way then?
A: Well, normal folks who have unfinished business roam around and they're invisible, except to disturbed little kids and funny British dentists who've had near-death experiences. And
they don't know they're dead. But they take care of their business and then go away. And then there are a few who mastered certain fencing skills when they were alive, who can come back and appear to normal people, or at least to other really good fencers.
Q: What do those look like?
A: They glow, and they look like they did when they died, or if they turned evil at some point in their life, they look like they did just before their body parts began to be progressively replaced by machinery and their souls shriveled and turned black.
Q: All right. Thanks. That clears up a lot. Now, there's just one more question.
A: I know. I get it all the time. The answer is yes, I have tangled with Buffy and she is all of that.
Q: Which episode would that have been?
A: Didn't make the series. It wasn't much of a fight, and the producers weren't interested. Honestly, the chick
owned me. Why do you think I'm reduced to possessing your stupid cat?
Q: He isn't that stupid. For a cat.
A: Yeah, whatever. Anyway you'll have to excuse me and Whiskers here, we're going to go kill something. Tell A2C he still owes me fifty bucks from our bet on the underpants bomber last month.
[END TAPE]
So there you have it folks, right from the source.
Happy new year!
August
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