SIMPLE FIX FOR FIFI
Thu Nov 22, 2007 11:00 am
FIFI, the CAF's B-29, used to fly, but has had major problems staying airworthy. It seems the engines just have technical issues, perhaps bad design or at least difficult to make reliable these days. But they have overlooked the easy, affordable, and obvious. They have tried Gary Austin, and other wrench wizards, many volunteers, replacing cylinders, and looking for an aviation oriented Bill Gates, all to no avail. What they haven't tried is the age old wisdom of the east, of ancient civilization.
Just this week there was a newspaper report from India?. Nepal Airlines announce they had delayed flights due to a "Technical problem" with one of their 757s. The next day they announced the resumption of their normal schedule, as they had sacrificed two goats to the Gods and the problem was now cured. A quick, cheap, and apparently, effective solution, which may not be in the Boeing tech orders.
I realize that finding goats in oil and cattle country may be a challenge. Also I suspect it must be a goat; sacrificing rattlesnakes may only anger the gods. An on my word of honor, I report this as I read it, I am sober at 9am and did not make it up. Happy Thanksgiving, Hook Em Horns, and be glad you are not a goat.
Just this week there was a newspaper report from India?. Nepal Airlines announce they had delayed flights due to a "Technical problem" with one of their 757s. The next day they announced the resumption of their normal schedule, as they had sacrificed two goats to the Gods and the problem was now cured. A quick, cheap, and apparently, effective solution, which may not be in the Boeing tech orders.
I realize that finding goats in oil and cattle country may be a challenge. Also I suspect it must be a goat; sacrificing rattlesnakes may only anger the gods. An on my word of honor, I report this as I read it, I am sober at 9am and did not make it up. Happy Thanksgiving, Hook Em Horns, and be glad you are not a goat.
Last edited by Bill Greenwood on Thu Nov 22, 2007 11:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
Thu Nov 22, 2007 11:14 am
Yes, and one of the biggest lies told in Alabama, "Honest Judge, I was just helpin them sheep over the fence".
Thu Nov 22, 2007 11:24 am
It's just not right sacrificing someones girfriend in West Texas for an old airplane. Think of the poor old guy on a lonely night. He would have to move to Montana and go up that Broke Back mountain.
or.....
Thu Nov 22, 2007 12:47 pm
they could stick 4 4360's on her......
Thu Nov 22, 2007 1:07 pm
Would that make FIFI a B59 ? 
Thu Nov 22, 2007 1:10 pm
Now THIS is one of the funniest threads I've seen in a while. Nice goin' Bill!!!!!
???
Thu Nov 22, 2007 1:27 pm
I wonder how many of those special 3350s Gary could get for
a Spit TMk IX
a Spit TMk IX
Thu Nov 22, 2007 2:10 pm
Seein' as FIFI is smack in the middle of Comanche country they could get a Comanch Shaman to do the magic. But, he'd probably want to sacrifice a couple of horse soldiers, and they're harder to find than a couple of goats ! 
Thu Nov 22, 2007 2:38 pm
.....and I thought he was going to say something about in-lines or Merlins
Re: SIMPLE FIX FOR FIFI
Thu Nov 22, 2007 3:37 pm
Bill Greenwood wrote:sacrificed two goats to the Gods and the problem was now cured. A quick, cheap, and apparently, effective solution
Sorry Bill, that expedient solution is in direct conflict with an old and little known FAA quick-fix
AD, as handed down by the High Priest in DC. It involves a rusty dull machete..the reproductive genitilia
of the CEO and Maintenance Chief of the operation..and a ritual at midnite.
The Chief Financial Officer
has, in every case, been delighted with this solution. However, equally in every case, the
CEO and MC have voted-down the CFO..2 to 1!!
Thu Nov 22, 2007 3:47 pm
Like you guys didn't know this?
We've been sacrificing goats to the "Annual Inspection God" for years so that nothing serious (I really want to say EXPENSIVE) would come up.
Worked well for us. Bill, you need some goats quick.
Mark H
We've been sacrificing goats to the "Annual Inspection God" for years so that nothing serious (I really want to say EXPENSIVE) would come up.
Worked well for us. Bill, you need some goats quick.
Mark H
Thu Nov 22, 2007 3:50 pm
Bill said:
....Haven't to West Texas in a while, now have ya? PLENTY o' goats out here. Why, I got my boss's goat just this Monday!
An' Rick, methinks with 4360s, that'd make her a B-50!
I realize that finding goats in oil and cattle country may be a challenge
....Haven't to West Texas in a while, now have ya? PLENTY o' goats out here. Why, I got my boss's goat just this Monday!
An' Rick, methinks with 4360s, that'd make her a B-50!
Thu Nov 22, 2007 4:39 pm
No, but it'd make her an XB-44.
RickH wrote:Would that make FIFI a B59 ?
Thu Nov 22, 2007 5:20 pm
Guys this is reaching the rediculous! My cousin Dennis "Dink" was an IP back in the 80's with USAF outa Luke AFB teachin Saudi pilots how to slam the F15A around. They had, and still do as I understand, a female voice on the inboard computer, which will let you know when critical issues happen, i.e. "Bingo fuel". These weenies would always exlaim "ALAH WILL PREVAIL" which Dink always would say "I got the stick" and head for the tanker. An" epiphany" is a "religeous" experience. As I told my old Vietnam Company Comander at our recent reunion in St Louis, MO. I doubt if we could spell "epiphany" (at the time), but I'm pretty sure most of these dudes can describe one for you.